Choices

My thoughts are still a little jumbled and I'm hoping this will help me sort them out, so bare with me. I've been thinking a lot lately about my responsibilities and privileges as a woman. I am a daughter, sister, aunt, granddaughter, niece, wife, and mother. Much has been given to me and much is expected. I convinced my sister and sister-in-law to go to a concert with me last night. It was the first time my sister had left her youngest baby for more than an hour or two and it was hard for her to leave. But it wasn't just hard for her. As the time drew nearer for us to get ready and then to leave, I found myself not wanting to go. I didn't want to leave my little family anymore than they wanted me to go. I felt like I was having to choose between two good things. I know how important it is for a mother to take time for herself and I know that the happier the mother, the better the mother. But just because I know something, doesn't mean it's easy to accept. I find myself often thinking about or wanting to have a girls night, go to the store alone, sit in church in peace and quiet, or have a day to myself to scrapbook. But then when the moment comes, I tell myself it's not that big of a deal to take my son to the store with me-why would I need a break from the light of my life anyway? But it's not just me time and family time I have to choose between. Sometimes I have to choose between my husband and son. I often feel like I have to choose which woman to be at that time. I have to choose between date night and family time, who I'll sleep in the same bed as, who gets kisses first, and sometimes who will be kept happy. And really, how does one choose between her best friend and her only child? Then there's extended family choices. At times we are asked to choose between families, between traditions and customs, between husband and mother. I, personally, am grateful that the choices I have to make are minor and for the most part, not life altering. We all have different choices to make and too often we beat ourselves up for choosing 'the wrong' one. And so I have a new resolve to think carefully about my choices then stand by my decision. My hope is for us all to learn from bad choices, make better ones, and enjoy the ride along the way.

Belly Bump Bummers! (or rather, a lack thereof)

I had my baby almost 2 years ago. About 4 months after that all my friends started having their babies-including my sister-in-law. It has been so fun for all of us to raise our kids together and it has been a life saver for me. Well, a few months ago I found out one of my best friends, Dani, was pregnant- I was so excited for her! See, she tried for almost a year to get pregnant with her first baby and when I told her that I was pregnant, I found out that she had been trying-it broke my heart. Shortly after I found out she is pregnant with her second baby, another one of my friends told us she is expecting-I was so excited for her too! I knew the day was coming that another friend who had been trying for awhile would tell me that she has a bun in the oven too. Yesterday, her 17 month old told us that he's going to be a big brother. I thought it would be really hard to take, having been off birth control for over 5 months and aching for a baby. But it was surprisingly not. I was truly so excited for her! I wonder if this is because I love babies and want them to have that joy or if it's because of our friendships. Whatever it is, it makes me feel a step closer to being the person I want to be. We all know as women, we have a tendency to compare and I think I'm one of the worst at it. But this gives me hope. Afterall, just because my friends did something right, doesn't mean I did something wrong. Oh, and I'll be waiting to hear that my sweet sister-in-law is expecting. I might even jump for joy like I did last time. :)

FINALLY!

I finally got a few chances to work on some cards...I've yet to get to scrapbooking because it takes me too long but here is a card I made for my brother-in-law's birthday coming up. It's not my best by any means but I love the colors-I went and bought several more sheets of that paper!

My Attempt at Creativity.

This blog is my attempt at creativity. The most creative things I do right now are keeping an 18 month old out of the trash can and throwing together some soup. Some may say these are accomplished tasks, I say they're just life and I need to expand my horizons. So, I call upon you to listen to me rant and rave about anything and everything.... Here goes nothin'!